


Find one, get two for free

by Tikini



Series: Tinder AU [1]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Brian is bitter, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Freddie is Freddie, John is cruising, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Open Relationships, Roger is photoshopped, Talk about sex toys, tinder au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-06-24 21:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19731811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tikini/pseuds/Tikini
Summary: John throws himself on top of his worn down couch and groans. It’s finally weekend after a long work week and fuck if he’s not going to order himself a pizza with extra cheese. He’s deserved it.While waiting for his order, he takes up his phone and absentmindedly starts up tinder. John rarely uses the dating app seriously anymore, but sometimes it’s a good way to get to meet someone new, or just get laid.He thumbs through the profiles, only men, because that’s John’s cup of tea, not really finding anything to his fancy. Then, he pauses, eyes widening.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> I know I'm slow with my next part of Four men, I'm sorry D: Have this tiny, silly thing in the mean time xD
> 
> But guys... There have been so many amazing fics lately?! Like, I'm not sure there's ever been so many active poly!queen stories at the same time, since I got into this fandom (which wasn't that long ago but still). Bless you all. I'm so happy to have loads ands loads of great content to read.
> 
> Take care everyone <3

John throws himself on top of his worn down couch and groans. It’s finally weekend after a long work week and fuck if he’s not going to order himself a pizza with extra cheese. He’s deserved it.

While waiting for his order, he takes up his phone and absentmindedly starts up tinder. John rarely uses the dating app seriously anymore, but sometimes it’s a good way to get to meet someone new, or just get laid.

He thumbs through the profiles, only men, because that’s John’s cup of tea, not really finding anything to his fancy. Then, he pauses, eyes widening. 

The man in the profile pic is the most gorgeous dude John’s ever seen. He has incredibly large and bright blue eyes framed by ridicoulusly long lashes. He's slightly tanned and his hair is attractively tousled, long and dirty blonde. 

John scowls. It’s probably just a very good angle. He looks at the next picture, the dude smokes a cigarette with his shirt half open. In the next one he’s on a snowboard. John's soon gone through all pics and decides that this person’s probably a master of photoshop. He throws a glance at the profile text.

 **ROGER** , 25

_MUSIC, cars, rock and roll. Love a good song and a night out. But chatting here sucks, let’s meet up instead. Not looking for anything serious._

John snorts and swipes to the left. It’s not like this guy’s ever gonna swipe on John anyway, best to save himself the humiliation. Besides, Roger's still probably photoshopped, as well as an idiot.

He continues to go through men of all ages and colours, swiping right on a couple and getting a few matches. Someone starts chatting with him but John ignores it. Soon he comes by a profile that catches his interest again.

This man is also gorgeous, in an exotic, exciting way. He has black hair to his shoulders and deep, brown eyes. His face structure is manly but elegant and John eagerly looks through his pictures. 

The man wears the most extravagant clothes, he has a large white coat and heels in one of his photos and his eyes seem to be always lined with coal. In another photo he’s singing into a mic, looking decisively filthy. But John’s favourite picture is the one when the man is smiling widely, showing of large front teeth, and is cuddling a large cat.

 **FREDDIE** , 28

 _Hello darling... Taking a peek at my profile, are you? Well, you certainly do have great taste! I love music, singing, stories and fashion. 👠 And cats. 😻 And wine and drinks. And sexy men. Life’s too short for monogamy! 💕🌈_

John finds himself chuckling and is just about to swipe right on this one, when the doorbell rings. He hurries to collect his pizza and pay the delivery man, before slumping down in his seat again. But when he picks up his phone, Freddie’s profile is gone, exchanged for some other boring meathead with his abs out in the open. 

Fuck.

Trying to not feel too disheartened, it’s not often he finds someone as fascinating as that, he continues to lazily search, shoving pizza into his mouth with his other hand. Just when he’s getting tired of all boring guys, about to quit and watch some netflix instead, a third interesting profile catches his eye.

This man is tall, really tall, with long legs and arms. He has a slightly nervous but charming smile and beautifully high cheekbones. And his hair. His hair is amazing. It’s enermous and curly and so damn cute. This guy ony has two pictures, one kind of formal looking and one of him with a guitar. John’s already quite into this cutie and looks up his text.

 **BRIAN** , 27

_Hello. I’m Brian. I’m not really sure what to write here. My interests are music, playing the guitar, reading, writing, the stars. I live in London with my boyfriends but we have a kind of open relationship and are looking for someone to join us for a date. Also, I was forced to get this account. Bri._

John is completely befuddled. He has no idea what to do with this information. This curly space man has boyfriends? Like in plural? And want to date others? Huh. 

Since Brian is incredibly cute, adorably awkward and sexy, John shrugs and gives it a go anyway. He swipes right.

After that, he stops his tinder session and lounges back in his pillows, watching a crappy movie. It’s late, about midnight, when his phone pings. John yawns and grabs it from the table. What he sees makes him grin widely.

**tinder: You have a new match!**

**tinder: Brian has sent you a message.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha. This was so much fun <3 it was really nice to just write something spontaneous, since most of my series is planned out already, tens of stories ahead...
> 
> I'm really into writing modern!au though, I discovered. What do you think, would you be interested in a continuation of this? It's like, nothing, I know, but it was fun, so I thought I'd at least ask!
> 
> Thank you for reading, have a lovely evening/night/morning/life!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Do you know how incredibly fucking hard it is to write a chatting fic in AO3? Omg so much to edit, and I'm so bad at editting too. I hope it looks alright :/
> 
> Anyway! This little story has run away with me and it will be multichaptered, maybe 5-7 chapters something like that. I'm so SO happy and excited with the response my 700 word drabble got, THANK YOU!
> 
> _Brian on tinder_   
>  _**John on tinder** _
> 
> I love you all <3 I hope you enjoy and take care!

_Hello darling!!! ❤️ you’re SUCH a cutie!_

John stares at the message, frowning. This doesn’t at all sound like the person Brian seems to be according to his profile. Maybe the man has split personalities…

Or, John’s chest twinges with pain, maybe this is all a joke. He feels his heart sink. That’s probably it. Why would such a handsome man swipe on John, it doesn’t make any sense. Especially if he already has two boyfriends. If that part’s even true.

Before he has time to decide if he should answer or not, the icon showing that Brian’s writing again shows up. John waits sceptically.

_Hi, I’m sorry about that. I’m the REAL Bri. I’m not scizophrenic, I promise. That was just one of my boyfriends, who has zero respect for personal belongings and integrity._

John’s eyebrows are by his hairline. What the fuck. He taps out a response.

_**Right… so was it your boyfriend who swiped on me too?** _

The answer comes quickly.

_No, it was me. But he’s agreeing with me._

_**About what?** _

_That you seem like a real nice bloke. And you play bass too, that’s great. I play guitar._

His heart is now back in its original place in his chest and John can’t help the smile spreading across his face.

_**Oh really. I hadn’t figured from your profile ;)** _

John ends up writing to Brian for about an hour before the other man excuses himself to go to bed. John goes to bed as well, and falls asleep at once, in a better mood than in ages.

———

_Good morning! How’s monday treating you this far?_

John puts down the new model he’s working on, excitement skyrocketting from Brian’s simple greeting. They’ve been chatting to and fro the whole weekend and John is charmed.

The curly-haired man is lovely. He’s kind and intelligent, and has this slightly dry, brittish, humour that just does it for John. They’ve been talking about all between heaven and earth, music, dreams, favourite movies and books. Brian is a PhD student in astrophysics AND is in a rock band. So he’s basically the coolest person ever.

_**Hello. Yeah it’s alright. Got a great coffee from the place downstreet and my annoying co-worker is sick today so I really can’t complain. You?** _

_Bless good coffee. And I get you, sometimes people can be so bothersome. Especially early in the morning. I’m writing on my project at home today, which is nice. Well. I haven’t really moved from the bed yet to tell the truth. But I’m getting there._

John imagines dark curls spread out over white linens, beautiful hazel eyes heavy with sleep. Maybe he’s looked at Brian’s two pictures a bit more than what’s normal, but who can blame him? The man looks like a god. And is somehow cute at the same time. 

Truthfully, it was long since John felt such a connection to anyone. He’s not the best at making friends. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, usually, but it’s both hard and tiring to talk to new people. But with Brian it’s easy. Actually, it’s almost scary how well they’re getting on.

There’s only one thing though… Brian’s boyfriends. Brian’s hypothetical boyfriends. The other man hasn’t mentioned them once since that first night. John probably wouldn’t have believed him at all if not for the first message he’d received. 

_**Sounds great, I’m jealous. Have to go back to work but talk to you later, good luck with your studies!** _

_Good luck you too 🤓_

Sometimes it’s too easy forgetting about the boyfriends, about the fact that this isn’t supposed to be anything serious. Sometimes it’s easy to picture himself being together with Brian.

———

It’s been nearly a week before Brian mentions his boyfriends again. 

_You busy? I’m so bored this evening. Was supposed to go to the pub but Fred’s caught a cold…_

John sips on his tea, considering the message. Fred must be one of them…

_**I’m sorry to hear that. But you’ve got more than one, don’t you?** _

John hopes Brian won’t pick up on his bitterness.

_?? More than one what?_

_**Boyfriend.** _

_Oh! Yes. I’ve got one more, but he has a modelling gig tonight._

Crap. John winces. Like he needed a reminder that he really doesn’t have a chance with Brian. He knows he should probably ask something about the model boyfriend. Or wish the sick one to get better. But he doesn’t.

_**How was your day then? Did you crack that problem you talked about earlier?** _

Let him dream for just one more night.

———

_**Morning! Finally Friday again, it feels like I’ve been run over by a schoolbus full of screaming children…** _

_**How are you?** _

_**I tried that vanilla latte you talked about and Jesus christ. What’s wrong with you, that is WAY too sweet. Crazy person.** _

_**That was just a joke, you know. Well, I mean it wasn’t my thing but everyone’s different right?** _

_**Brian? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.** _

John glances at the one-sided chat every minute. This is the longest Brian has gone without answering since they started talking. Maybe he’s grown tired of John.  
It’s hard to focus on work. It’s usually a lot of fun, but now John’s feeling anxious, worry churning in his stomach. It’s past lunch time when Brian finally answers. 

_Bloody hell John, I’m so sorry. We had a really shit morning so I didn’t have time until now._

John worries his lip between his teeth, concerned. _**No, it’s perfectly fine, really! What happened?**_

_We were going for pancakes this morning, friday tradition, and kinda crashed our car… A cat jumped out in front of us and Rog just barely avoided running it over. Unfortunately we hit a lamp post instead..._

A small part of John’s brain registers that Rog must be the second boyfriend. The larger part reacts as it should though, with worry and fright. _**Jesus christ! God, are you alright?**_

_Yeah, we’re ok. I might have gotten a tiny bit of whiplash so I’m at the hospital right now to check it out. Fred took the cat to the police, to see if it has any registered owners. Poor thing is all frightened and malnourished. Rog’s fine but upset, both about me ”being hurt” and about the car. It’s a bit busted up so we’ll have to get it fixed. In short; one of those real shitty no good days._

John lets out a relieved sigh, all in all it’s not too bad. Things could have gone much much worse. He blushes slightly at his own dramatic reaction. Why does he care so much? He barely knows Brian and even less so his two boyfriends, Fred and Rog.

_**I’m sorry mate, that sounds really rough. And it’s bloody expensive getting your car fixed too, it sucks. I really hope your neck will be ok at least!** _

_My neck’s going to be just fine, it barely hurts but the others forced me to go check it out. The car isn’t that bad either. We might need to pay for some of it but my boyfriend can fix most of the damage, he’s a car mechanic._

_**Fred?**_ John’s not sure how he feels about this sudden onslaught of boyfriend things. _**That’s convenient.**_

_No not Fred, he’s a fashion reporter. Roger’s the mechanic._

John eyes the chat suspiciously. _**Really. The model?**_ Honestly, he’s feeling very lost.

_Haha he just models sometimes, it’s not his full time job thank god. But it’s good cash and our rent gets to be quite the nail biter every other month…_

This is ridiculous, John can’t keep himself from snickering. A curly astrophysisist, a cat saving fashion reporter and a car mechanic who models ”sometimes”. What the fuck. He’s suddenly not as salty about Brian’s boyfriends anymore, because they sound hilarious. 

He leans back in his chair and tries to picture a modelling car mechanic, which only leads to him laughing harder. The only ones he’s seen are middle-aged balding men with grumpy attitudes. Maybe Brian’s boyfriend is more Hollywood hunk style, like Chris Hemsworth or someone. That’s a hot man who John would happily let look at his car. If he had one.

Lost in daydreams about beautiful cars and sexy men, John forgets to answer Brian. He jumps when his phone pings again. 

_We were actually going to Brighton for the weekend, but since our car is a no go that will have to wait. So… would you perhaps like to meet? Maybe for a cup of coffee (not vanilla latte) somewhere?_

John lets out an undignified woop and almost whacks his tea mug of the desk. _**I’d enjoy that. When?**_

_Great! I was thinking tomorrow? And John, sorry if I’ve been unclear with this but my boyfriends and I don’t really do dates on our own. Is it alright if Fred and Rog comes too? I understand if that makes you uncomfortable and if you don’t want to anymore, that’s perfectly fine. Although it would be a pity because we’d really love to meet you._

John wonders how his life became like this. He grins like a loon and shrugs. Fuck it. He’s got nothing to lose, so why not? _**Sure, sounds reasonable. Tomorrow it is then!**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going on my own tinder date tomorrow, got asked out for a glass of wine. Hah. So me and Deaky will just have to do our best!
> 
> For those of you who are worried that I've forgotten Four men. I have not. Definitely not. I'm going to finish this modern!au story relatively quickly, because it's short chapters and easier to write. Most of the stories for Four men takes a lot of time and energy, especially the smut. However, I'll try to get out the next (and smutty!) part some time this weekend.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I've never written a chat fic before... And well there's going to be less chatting from here on, but I'm still a bit nervous about all that. And also, what you'll think of these modern versions of the boys! 
> 
> Sleep tight beautiful people <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> I hope everyone's having a good day <3 I come bringing the next chapter of this little thing, and John finally gets to meet the rest of the boys!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Brian’s picked out a real cosy, quaint little café and the delicious smell of high quality coffee and freshly baked goods embraces John like a warm hug when he steps inside. He orders himself a coffee, cup filled to the brim with the hot liquid, before looking around for Brian.

He finds him in a secluded corner, nearly hidden by an enormous potted plant and John feels his heart beat faster. The man is even lovelier in real life, tall and slender and with soft chocolate curls. John’s palms are sweating and he tries hard to force his panicky face to smile normally as he maneuvers around the potted plant.

Then, John spots the other two. The men seem oddly familiar… John’s jaw drops.

It’s only because their respective profiles left such an impression on John that he recognizes the faces he saw about a week ago.

One of the men has sparkling brown eyes and silky black hair. He’s wearing winged eyeliner and a very cutting edge purple leather jacket. The other man has his blonde, long hair up in a messy bun but there’s no mistaking the amazing blue eyes or the pretty lips.

John yelps when scorching coffee runs over his fingers, he’s managed to tilt his cup to the side while staring. The sound alerts the three men and they all looks up at him, Brian’s face breaking out in a beautiful grin.

”John!” He exclaims, getting to his feet to greet John, pausing when he notices his stained hands and pained expression. ”Oh my, are you alright?”

And so John finds himself led to the table and helped down in the free chair, Brian fussing over him and taking care of his cup for him.

The black-haired man tuts, digging in his dainty bag before handing John a wet wipe. ”Poor dear,” he frowns, proceeding to clean John’s fingers for him when he doesn’t immediately take the wipe. ”You have to be careful with those lovely hands of yours!”

John is shellshocked, staring between the two men fussing over him and the blonde, who hasn’t said anything yet. Instead he’s watching John closely, eyes curious.

”Ok ok wait just a bloody second,” John manages to get out just as Brian sits back down in his chair. ”What the fuck is going on? Is this a joke? Am I on punk’d?”

The three stares at him, with expressions ranging from worried to irritated.

”I thought…” Brian starts carefully, ”that you were aware of that I’d bring them? We talked about it yesterday?” 

John shakes his head, letting out an almost hysterical laugh. ”Yeah no, not that. Why are you three together? You’re just messing with me aren’t you?”

The black-haired man raises a perfect eyebrow, the blonde one starts to look really pissed and Brian looks slightly hurt.

”No, not why _are_ you three together,” John explains, realizing what he’s sounded like, ”Why are _you three_ together?” He frustratedly explains, gesturing at the men in question. ”Freddie, right?” He points at the dark-haired man, ”The cat- and wine loving fashionista. And you’re Roger,” he continues, moving his accusing finger. ”Mr Photoshop. The car mechanic model.”

There is a brief moment of confused silence and John realizes that he’s breathing loudly and irregularly.

”I’m sorry,” Brian looks as lost as John feels. ”I’m not sure I’m following?”

The blonde, Roger, snorts. ”Wow good job Bri, you’ve found us a proper nut case…”

”Tinder!” John almost shrieks. ”I saw both of you on tinder the same night I matched with Brian!”

The dark-haired man, Freddie, still seems lost but Roger’s eyes widens in realisation. ”Oh! So that’s why I recognize you! But wait a sec,” he frowns. ”I swiped on you! If you saw me and we didn’t match that means you didn’t swipe on me!”

John squirms on his stool, feeling bad now that he hadn’t. Clearly, there is no Photoshop involved in the makings of this unbelievably beautiful man. ”Sorry,” he mutters, ”I thought your photos were digitally enhanced…” 

Freddie breaks out in a fit of giggles while Roger looks extremely offended. ”Oh my god,” Freddie shakes with laughter. ”That’s the best thing I’ve heard in ages!” He expertly avoids the smack Roger aims to the back of his head.

”Don’t you worry, dear.” His smile is wide and breathtaking when he turns to John again. ”Don’t mind Blondie, he’s just not used to not get swiped on. It’s mostly Rog, and to some extent me, who brings the boys to the yard.” He gives John an unholy once-over. ”If I had come by you on tinder I’d certainly swipe right. You’re a sexy riot! I’m very glad Bri found you. It’s extraordinary really, that you matched. Brian’s barely ever on!”

”Must be fate.” Roger grumbles, still glaring at John.

Brian sighs and rubs his temple. ”Well, this is not at all going the way I had preferred it to. Sorry John, you must find us odd, but that’s how we use tinder. We look for people to join us temporarily in the relationship.”

”You… boy-fish together. On tinder.” John says slowly, trying to understand.

”Yup!” Freddie grins while Brian looks embarrassed. 

John stares at them helplessly. ”But why?”

”Oh you know,” Freddie shrugs, ”usually to heat things up in the bedroom a bit.”

While John wonders why three so gorgeous men need more spice in the bedroom, it’s not his business. His eventual part of said spice however, is. To be honest, he feels really torn up over the situation. On the one hand, he’d absolutely love spending a night together with these people, god it sounds like a complete wet dream.

But… He’s also devastatingly disappointed. He really likes Brian. He’d like to date him. In a perfect world. And he’d known, from the start, that this wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, just a bit of fun. Fuck sake, he should have walked away. Before it was too late. 

”So that’s my role in this? You want to have a foursome?” 

Freddie nods happily. ”Yes! If you’re that way inclined.”

Is he that way inclined? The only thing he knows for sure is that it would suck to miss what had to be smoking hot sex. And that the thought of losing Brian hurts more than he can handle.

”Let’s just have coffee and get to know each other for now, alright?” Brian sends Freddie a pointed glance. John holds back a relieved sigh, he won’t have to decide right now.

The boys spends the next hour chatting. John finds the others to be both funny and intelligent and they are all very interested in hearing about John’s life. Even Roger comes around eventually, completely forgetting the whole mess from before when John asks about their car. Roger immediately goes into a long tirade about his beloved Alfa Romeo. John finds out that the blonde adores cars even more than himself, and both Freddie and Brian roll their eyes at their nerdiness. They also talk about the cat, which doesn’t seem to have an owner. Freddie has taken it in for now and fondly given it the name Roadie. Then they talk a bit about Brian’s studies, tinder in general and then, of course, about music.

Freddie and Roger are also in Brian’s rock band, singing and playing the drums respectively. They have a fourth guy on bass called Tim and the band calls itself The Smiling Queen. They plays mostly 70s rock and it’s just for fun, but they still make quite some cash from gigs. They offers John to come watch their next one, in about a month, and John says yes. If they’ve already fucked by then and they have no more interest in him, he’ll just not show up.

Anyway, by the end of their ”date” John is three times screwed. He now crushes on Freddie and Roger too. The three of them are really some of the most interesting people John has ever met. If they’d asked him to come back to their place right now in the middle of the day for that foursome, he would eagerly have accepted.

Unfortunately (or fortunately for John’s poor heart) Brian still has a headache after the car accident and wants to go home and rest.

As they all stands up, John can’t deny himself one last good look on each of these beautiful men. God he is lucky. This is a gay bonanza if he ever saw one.

”So, no sex tonight then?” He attempts to joke lightly.

”Nah,” Roger smiles and gives him a one-armed hug. ”There’s no hurry.” 

John nods absentmindedly, distracted by the blonde’s warm body and delicious cologne. Brian hugs him next, with both arms, grinning widely. ”It really was lovely meeting you John, let’s do it again soon.” 

”How about next friday night?” Freddie suggests silkily, wrapping himself around John and giving him a light kiss. ”I’m thinking a nice restaurant, wine, maybe oysters. And then we can see what we get up to after…”

”Sounds perfect.” John who’s never had an oyster in his life and never wants to try one either, says cooly.

They head in opposite directions outside the café. Some more goodbyes and smiles are thrown around and then John’s new meaning with life turns the corner and disappears.

He’s fucked. It won’t even matter if he takes part of the actual fucking or not, he’s fucked regardless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I'm unabashedly having the time of my life with these modern versions xD Oysters are coming up!
> 
> It was sweet of you to wish me good luck on my own date, unfortunately it didn't work out, we didn't even manage to go on the date. However, I started talking to another guy, drummer actually haha Queen is ruining everything... and we went out yesterday and had a grand time!
> 
> I wish you all the luck in all kinds of love and in life in general. You are the sweetest and deserve it all! Take care of yourselves and see you soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Here comes the new chapter! It's longer this time :) This story will probably be 6 or 7 chapters, then I'll wrap it up. Four men will continue on, business as usual, but I write those stories slower. Also, I have another story in mind that I'll probably start working with after I'm done with this. Oh, so much to write, so little time.
> 
> AND, talking about writing. The lovely Jessahmewren, a fellow poly!queenie, has started a Discord for writers of Queen and Bohrap fics. I'm hopeless with everything internet, but I've heard good things about Discord and I know that some of you use it. So, if you're a writer (or want to start writing) in these fandoms, come join the Discord. We've just gotten started but I for one certainly look forward to be able to discuss ideas and so on with other Queen writers. Here's the link; https://discord.gg/9Ujr6gj  
> We hope we'll see some of you there! (The discord is for all kinds of fics, not only slash and/or poly)
> 
> Without further ado, let's continue Deaky's suffering!

John studies the dildo closely, spinning it around in his hand as he ups the vibrations one more step. He smiles, pleased with the result. It’s still almost entirely silent.

John takes pride in what he does, even if most people would be scandalized by his choice of profession. He’s an electrical engineer and works for a sex toy company. He actually finds it very interesting, working with such small motors, developing them to be as strong and silent as possible. A lot of things are happening in the sex toy industry, people are getting more open and comfortable with their sexuality. Therefore the market is evolving; bluetooth, pretty designs, you name it. It is very stimulating work, pun intended.

However, John has had problems focusing on his newest project, a cocky piece called Killer Queen, the entire week. It’s thursday today. Tomorrow he’s meeting Brian and co.

God. What is he going to wear? How do you even eat oysters? What if he hates it? How do you have sex with three people at once? Questions, loads of them, buzz around John’s head like angry bees.

He’s tried confiding in his friend Ronnie, but she wouldn’t stop laughing for long enough to actually be useful. As if sensing John’s dilemma, John’s phone pings.

_Hello dear, Freddie here 😻. Me and Bri are both working from home today and having a lovely time. Well, some of us are working._

His phone pings again because Freddie has sent a photo to his and Brian’s tinder chat. It is of Brian napping in the corner of a large and fluffy sofa, papers spread out around him, with a large book over his face and a small, tufty ball of fur on his chest.

Ouch. John’s heart feels like it’s suddenly three times too big for his narrow, cynical chest. _**Lazy sod. Is that Roadie?**_

_He is but he’s also adorable so I’ll leave him to it. AND YES. Isn’t she precious???_

John can’t really see much of the kitty but reckons it’s in his best interest to agree anyway. _**She’s beautiful. Are you keeping her?**_

_I think so. I hope so. She has nowhere else to go and is such a scared, poor thing._

John’s swollen heart hurts. Freddie is so kind and empathic under all that crazy persona. As if it wasn’t enough to just have a thing for Brian.

 _ **I hope it’ll work out Fred, I think she couldn’t find a better place than with you.**_ Afraid to sound too cheesy and emotional, he smoothly changes the topic. _**Roger’s not with you?**_

_Sweetheart ❤. No… 😭 he’s barely been with us at all this week. Besides regular hours at the garage, he’s also been working on our car as well as covering up for one of the other mechanic’s whose mother is really sick._

John’s not sure what to write, he already feels so close to these boys, he cares so much about them that he’s afraid to seem creepy or desperate if he writes what he really wants to. 

_**Poor Roger… fortunately it’s weekend soon, so he can rest.** _

_Oh I’m not sure how much resting will be involved 😜. You haven’t forgotten about our date tomorrow have you?_

Ah the foursome. A great subject to keep John from going too soft. The cold, hard, ridiculously sexy truth often had that effect on you. Well, if the sex was what this was all about he’d bloody rock their worlds or die trying.

_**Of course not. You do know that oysters are aphrodisiac, I presume.** _

_… Oops 😇_

Oops indeed. Crap, he really needs to figure out what to wear…

\---

He ends up wearing a suit jacket and jeans, nothing too fancy but nothing too shabby either.

”You look positively divine darling!” Freddie exclaims the moment they meet outside the restaurant. 

Yeah… No. John doesn’t quite agree with that. Compared to the others John looks like yesterday’s leftovers. 

Really, they do not play fair, these three. Brian is wearing a suit too, with smart-looking dress pants that accentuate his amazing neverending legs and makes drool pool in John’s mouth. He also has that beautiful unruly hair up in a bun on the back of his head, some escaped locks framing his angular face. John generally prefers topping to bottoming but if Brian asked him to he’d get on his knees right here and now.

Roger is dressed quite casual, in shirt and jeans. He has dark circles under his eyes and his hair is quite messy and he’s still without a doubt the most physically attractive person John’s met. He’d almost feel annoyed with him, if the blonde didn’t look so exhausted. He could have opted to stay home sleeping but is here instead, to meet John. It warms.

Freddie looks like the groundbreaking fashionista he is. His hair looks shiny and ebony, not a single strand out of line. He has thick eyeliner and discreet eyeshadow to make his eyes appear mysterious and sultry. He’s wearing a beautiful, thin coat with flowers on it and very tight, black jeans. The arms of the coat are pulled up slightly and multiple large bracelets in gold and silver are wrapped around his thin forearms.

John honestly doubts that he’ll need the oysters help to get in the mood tonight.

Freddie has booked a table in a far corner of the restaurant. Everything’s very posh and fancy and there are fresh lilies on the table. John can understand that rent money get tight if they’re eating out at these kind of places regularly. 

To his relief, it turns out that Roger hasn’t had oysters either, and is about as lost over the concept as John is. Freddie orders for them as well as for himself from the waiter, three servings of fresh oysters and some white wine. Brian is a vegetarian and orders a quiche instead of the slimy creatures. John kind of wishes he was a vegetarian too, if only for tonight.

They get the bottle of wine ahead of the food, and sit chatting and drinking together. It’s still very easy, talking to the three of them and John for once feels like he fits in, right from the start. Roger is a bit quieter than last time but Freddie smoothly covers for that by talking more. When the dark-haired man leans in close to Brian to fix his hair, John turns to the tired blonde at his side.

“Brian told me you model sometimes, what’s that like?” Yeah well, maybe not the smoothest conversation opener ever, but John’s curious.

Roger shrugs, takes a large sip of his wine. “It’s alright I guess. I don’t do it that much, maybe once-twice a month.”

“So what is it that you do? If you don’t mind me asking?”

Freddie is paying attention again and cackles lowly. “Ooh wouldn’t you like to know darling…” He waggles his eyebrows at Roger. “It’s quite indecent, really.”

John feels his cheeks heat as he imagines Roger posing shirtless, hair tousled. Brian gives him a too knowing look across the table and grins. John’s blush deepens.

“Shut it Fred,” Roger swats at his giggling boyfriend. “That was just one time, god. Are you never going to let me live that down?” He turns back to John, shaking his head. “Don’t listen to him, it’s just normal stuff. Shirts, hats, shoes. Freddie has a lot of designer friends and they hire me sometimes.”

Freddie snorts. “Dear they love you, they would hire you everyday if you’d only let them.”

“Well I don’t want to,” Roger mutters, “Besides, I’m too short, and not thin enough to be a proper one.” He rests his elbows on the table and smirks at Brian. “Bri, on the other hand, has the perfect makings of a model.”

Brian flushes and scrunches his nose. “While I might have the height and waist ratio for modelling, I think looks have something to do with it too, last I checked.”

“Don’t give us that crap again,” Freddie scowls. “You’re gorgeous dear.” Roger nods passionately and Freddie turns to John. “Isn’t he just stunning?”

John feels way out of his depths. This seems to be a recurring subject for the boyfriends. He manages a small smile and nods. “You’re breathtaking, all of you.”

There’s a moment of silence, where Freddie and Roger looks smugly at Brian, who’s now deep red in the face. “Thank you.” Brian mumbles, fidgeting with his cutlery.

“You’re not too bad yourself mate!” Roger nudges him and winks.

“Indeed,” Freddie purrs, giving him a filthy once over which makes John feel as if he’s sitting there naked. He lifts his glass to take a drink, trying to appear confident and couth under Freddie’s undressing eyes. “Such lovely eyes and pretty, pale skin. You’re very attractive dear, and your butt is just marvell…”

“SO JOHN!” Brian cuts him off loudly, leaning over the table to stare at John. “What do you do for work? We’ve never talked about that.”

John chokes slightly on his wine, caught of guard by the question. He coughs carefully and wipes at his mouth with his napkin. The three stares at him curiously and he stares back, considering. Actually, if someone would approve of his profession it would probably be these three weirdos.

”Sex toys.”

Brian blinks. ”Come again?”

John clears his throat. ”I’m at a sex toy company. I’m an electrical engineer, so I develop the motors and stuff.”

”Oh.” Brian says, eyes wide.

Freddie looks about as excited as a kid on christmas and Roger’s grin is huge. ”That’s fucking brilliant! How the hell did you end up in that business?”

”I applied for an electrical engineering job at a company and kind of didn’t understand what kind of company it was before I got there for my interview.”

Brian’s eyes are still wide with disbelief. ”And you accepted the job??”

”Yeah.” John shrugs. ”It’s a great place actually, and the work is really fun. I like it.”

They spend the next minutes talking about sex toys. Roger fondly describes his first dildo in great detail, Freddie recollects the time he got some anal beads stuck up his ass and Brian’s switching between nervously looking around and hissing at his boyfriends to be quieter for Gods sake! John can’t remember the last time he laughed this much and between the good company and a few glasses of wine he’s not even feeling remotely nervous when the oysters finally arrive.

Freddie teaches him and Roger how to suck the oysters right out of their shells as Brian looks on in disgust. It’s… different. But not as bad as John thought. He actually gets quite into it after a couple of slimy suckers, the taste is new and refreshing and goes exceptionally well with the wine.

Freddie eats like a pro, his technique is elegant and efficient and quite erotic to John’s wine- and lust-addled brain. Roger however, doesn’t seem to be very happy about the food. When John and Freddie have finished their servings Roger’s barely eaten half of his. He’s pushing the oysters around on his plate instead, looking a bit queasy.

”Aw darling, you didn’t like it?” Freddie pouts, while Brian looks triumphant.

”It’s alright,” Roger half-smiles. ”Not really my cup of tea.” 

Freddie pouts again and scoots closer to John. ”At least two of us know fine cuisine, right John?”

That triggers Brian into a quite passionate speech about animal rights that lasts for the rest of the meal. John’s not sure oysters even counts as animals but he wisely keeps that thought to himself. 

They ask John to come over after they’ve paid and exited the restaurant and John eagerly agrees. He still has mixed up feelings about the whole foursome business. He doesn’t want to go home to these amazing people, have a great, amazing night and then never see them again. But he also really _really_ wants to have sex with them. It’s a hard life. John promises himself he’s going to give them such a night that they won’t be able to get rid of him.

It turns out that Brian, Roger and Freddie live close to the restaurant, so they walk there, laughing and chatting to each other. Or, most of them do. John can’t help but notice that Roger’s being very quiet and also looking quite pale. 

At first he shrugs it off as the blonde just being exhausted and overworked, which makes him wonder if Roger will even want to join in on the fun at all. But, by the time they round the corner to the others’ apartment, Roger is almost green-looking. He practically bolts inside the building and rushes up the stairs, Freddie and Brian calling out in confusion and running after him. 

John has a feeling this is not going to turn out the sexy way he’d hoped.

When John pokes his head inside the opened door to the apartment he can hear the sound of violent retching. He sees Brian and Freddie standing in the doorway to what he guesses is the bathroom.

“Oh dear,” Freddie mutters and disappears into the room, out of John’s line of sight. “It must have been a bad oyster…”

“No shit?!” Comes Roger’s furious, hoarse shriek. He lets out a pitiful moan, before more retching noises echoes out into the hallway. Brian carefully pushes the door almost shut, leaving it just a smidge opened, before turning to John.

The tall man looks quite pale himself and smiles apologetically. “I’m sorry John, I don’t think tonight’s going to work for… further activities. Can I offer you a cup of tea instead?”

Loud curses can be heard from the bathroom and John takes a step back, holding up his hands. “No you really don’t have to, I’m fine. Take care of Roger instead.”

“Nonsense,” Brian smiles, quickly catching up to John with his long legs and ushering him into the kitchen. “Freddie’s got it, I’m not good with vomit anyway.” He gently but firmly pushes John down onto a stool and goes to start the electric kettle. “Earl Grey? Green? Some of Freddie’s weird oriental stuff?” 

John takes a curious look around the kitchen. It’s open and modern and wow they really have a nice apartment. The rent really must be hell. “Eh…” He says, still a bit tipsy and also slightly lost. A natural reaction when your sexy plans suddenly changes to drinking tea while someone’s being violently sick in the other room. “Earl Grey please?” It’s pleasantly warm in the room and he removes his suit jacket, hanging it on the back of the chair.

Brian fixes tea for John and himself, he also prepares a mug of the oriental stuff and a cup of green tea. “Rog hates green tea,” he explains, as he sits down next to John, “but I think it should do him good after this trial.”

“Poor guy,” John shudders when he hears another wail from the bathroom, coupled with Freddie’s cheerful voice. “This is a nice place you’ve got.”

“Thanks!” Brian smiles and he’s so pretty John has to hide his love-sick face behind his tea cup. “We wouldn’t be able to afford it, if not for Freddie’s job.” He frowns. “As it is now, him and Rog have to pay for most of it, since most of my PhD payment goes to study fees. It’s a bummer.”

John nods and drinks his tea. They spend some minutes, drinking tea and talking quietly. Then there’s a sudden ruckus from the bathroom. 

“I can’t believe this! First the fucking car, then no Brighton, then I have to slave away at work all week! It’s not bloody fair!” Roger’s roar makes the walls vibrate and John jumps while Brian just rolls his eyes and continues to calmly sip on his tea.

“Darling that’s not…”

“I have barely even seen you all week and I haven’t chatted with John at all and I was so excited for tonight and then this fucking happens?! What the fuck!” 

John feels strangely giddy. Roger had been excited to meet him!

“Why did we even have to go for fucking oysters to begin with? Oysters Fred! Why? Why couldn’t we have normal date food, like say pizza or pasta or literally anything that’s not a disease-bearing slime monster!”

“But dear, oysters are supposed to be aphrodi…”

“DO I LOOK LIKE I’M FUCKING TURNED ON TO YOU?” A pause and then more retching.

John finishes his tea and gets up from his chair. “I should go,” he says. “Thanks for the tea.”

This time Brian doesn’t protest, but nods and follows him back to the front door. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” Brian sighs and reaches back to pull his hair free from the bun. Bouncing, luscious curls fall down to softly rest on his shoulders and frame his perfect face and John’s throat is very dry.

“yEAh,” he squeaks before clearing his throat, blushing fiercely. “No, I mean don’t be. It’s not your fault.” He slips on his shoes, carefully trying to not stare at Brian’s beautiful anything. Fuck he’s so disappointed he didn’t get to see him, and the others, naked. “Say hi to Fred and Rog for me, yeah? I hope he’ll get better soon.”

Brian grins. “Oh he will, Rog’s tough as nails. He’ll be fine.” He steps close and pulls John into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he breathes in his ear, “for tonight. We had a lovely time.”

“Me too,” John almost wheezes.

“Goodbye Deaky!” Freddie calls from the bathroom and John frowns. Deaky? Where did that come from? He calls back anyway and then opens the door.

“Be careful.” Brian says in that low, melodious voice and John nods. “And I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” John nods again and Brian smiles and gives him a light kiss on the lips. Then he leans back, gives John another adorable smile and closes the door.

John’s sure he’s wearing the goofiest grin ever as he skips down the stairs. He’s sighing and smiling like a love-sick teenager on the metro. He basically floats up the stairs to his own apartment and dances through the door. 

Then, he realizes. He’s left his jacket at Brian’s apartment. With his phone in the pocket.

Fuck everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, beautiful people. Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are! Take care of yourselves and be careful with seafood (I actually had mussels, luckily successfully, the other day)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my darlings!
> 
> This story will have 6 chapters and I'm all done with it. Last chapter will probably be up on Wednesday, before I leave on vacation ^^
> 
> This little silly thing I thought of one late afternoon on the bus, after a long day of work, turned out to this. Because you loved the first silly part of this and told me so. I know I say it all the time but oh my god the support level in this fandom. You make me want to try, make me dare to try. It's amazing. Bless you.

At 9 AM, John is back at Brian’s apartment. A kind lady lets him in through the main entrance and he takes the stairs, two steps at once, soon arriving in front of Brian’s and the others door. It might be a bit too early to come visit, unplanned on a saturday, but John really needs his phone.

He knocks at the door carefully and then waits, until the door is opened. ”Good morning, I’m sorry but…”

He fades out, staring at Roger in front of him. Who’s wearing glasses and has adorable bedhead. Who still looks a bit pale but much more rested. Who’s wearing a t-shirt and lacy underwear. John gets dizzy with how fast his blood rushes south. Luckily he’s in his baggy pants.

”What?” Roger yawns, absentmindedly tugging a sputtering John inside. ”Come in Deaks, you’re right in time for breakfast.”

He’s apparently gotten a new nickname but John has other priorities than to ponder why and when that happened. Like to watch Roger’s smooth, bare legs or the way the dark blue fabric hugs his cute little bottom when Roger turns around to go back to the kitchen.

”Uh,” John says, somehow managing to remembering to shut the door. ”Panties. Why?” He immediately inwardly curses himself, that was NOT what he was supposed to say. He could have asked about Roger’s health, or thanked him for letting him in so early or maybe he could have told him about the forgotten phone. All decent, normal things to say. But nope.

Roger just snickers and waves for John to come with him. ”They’re not, actually. Panties, I mean. They’re lingerie for men. That’s the one ”indecent” shoot I did, that Freddie blabbered about.” The blonde seems much more energetic today and John hurries to catch up to him. ”I got like 20 bloody pairs after the gig and they’re actually quite comfy.” Roger continues. ”You can have a pair, like a new pair of course, if you want. Me and Fred don’t use them all anyway.”

”Eh sure?” John tries hard to keep his eyes off Roger’s ass. Wait. Was he just offered underwear? That’s odd… but sweet. He needs to say thank you.

“Thanks. I actually get a lot of things from work too, like vibrators and stuff, which I don’t really use. You can have one if you want.”

Fuck! What the hell’s up with his verbal filter today? Before he can stammer out an apology Roger glances at him over his shoulder, eyes wide and surprised behind his glasses.

“Oh thanks,” the blonde gathers himself, grins. “Why not?”

They walk into the kitchen and John sees Freddie standing by the oven, scrambling eggs, dressed in a gorgeous silk robe. Roger walks up to him and presses himself to his side, hungrily eyeing the food.

“Morning John dear!” Freddie smiles his wide, beautiful smile at John, before narrowing his eyes and pointing at him with the spatula. “Did you just offer to give my boyfriend a vibrator?"

John blushes and stops some meters away, fidgeting. “Yeah… sorry.”

“Why?” Freddie asks suspiciously and Roger rolls his eyes and turns to fill up water for tea in the electric kettle.

John prepares himself. Because he offered me panties first. That’s what he’s going to say, nothing else. Then his gaze zooms in on Roger’s backside when he stretches to plug in the kettle and his naughty tourettes takes over again.

“Because he’d look beautiful using it.”

Woah. Alright. Now he’s really done it. Yup, he’s out.

Freddie’s frozen with his spatula, mouth slightly opened and Roger’s spun around, staring at John, cheeks burning red.

“Uh I mean,” John starts but then Freddie’s loud, vibrant laughter cuts him off.

“Oh my god, OH MY! Deaky!” Freddie looks positively delighted. “I can’t believe you, that’s just… Wow. You really do speak your mind.” 

John wants to disappear through the floor as Freddie pulls a sputtering Roger close, eyes twinkling merrily. “Look, you’ve even managed to embarrass Rog, that’s not something you see everyday! You’re right by the way,” he winks at John, hand sneaking down Roger’s back to his ass, giving him a hearty squeeze, “he’s gorgeous with something in…”

“Fucking hell shut up Fred!” 

“What’s this bloody ruckus? It’s too early for this…” Brian shows up from another door-way, hair rumpled and with a satin pajamas with stars and planets on. Fuck fuck, he’s too cute. John can’t deal with them, all weekend cozy (and soft sexy) like this. “Oh hello John,” he notices John there in the middle of the kitchen and blushes a bit, brushing some curls behind his ear. “Are you here for your phone?”

“Yeah…” John answers weakly and Brian frowns, looking between the beet red John and Roger and the laughing Freddie. 

“Honestly, what’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Roger squeaks, slapping a hand over Freddie’s mouth. “Where’s Roadie? I thought she was sleeping with you?”

As if on command, a small, tufty ball of grey fur appears at Brian’s legs. Roadie keeps her distance to John, looking cat-like and sceptical as she rubs up against the tall man’s calves.

Freddie’s attention is finally diverted from teasing, he coos and marches over the floor to lift and cradle the small animal in his arms, leaving Roger to sort out the eggs.

”Who’s a beautiful girl? Who’s the cutest in the world?” He sing songs and Roadie purrs and presses her tiny, feline face against his.

John watches them, heart aching. The cat is too thin and the fur is uneven and patchy. Still she looks happy and clean, and John’s sure she’ll grow up to be strong and healthy under Freddie’s and the others care. 

Brian lazily ambles over to John on his long, sleep heavy legs and gives him a warm hug. He smells like sleep. At the same time Roger, who’s gone back to his usual skin colour, announces there’s Freddie’s special scramble and tea. John sits down with the others to breakfast.

It’s hard. This is really hard. He’s getting too close. 

Sex is easy. Passion and naked bodies, messy hair and sweaty skin. Nothing to lose.

Watching Freddie pet Roadie on his lap as he loudly discuss sex toy ideas with John, watching Roger frown as he realizes he’s still feeling too queasy to eat much of the scramble, watching Brian sleepily sip his tea, too tired to talk much. Eating home cooked delicious scrambled eggs in a pleasantly warm apartment.

John doesn’t want to have a foursome. He doesn’t want to be one of their tinder spices. He wants to be part of them, of this, like he is now in this moment. It hurts that they’ll let him go, after they’ve reached their goal.

However, none of them seem to be in a hurry to get to the sex, this day either. Roger’s still not feeling very well. Still, John doesn’t return home. He fits into their lazy Saturday as if he’s always been part of it. They curl up on the large, fluffy couch together, watching movies, with tea and biscuits. Roadie soon warms up to John and spends the entirety of Die Hard in his lap, making it her mission to cover his pants in hair.

In the afternoon they order pizza, John orders one with extra cheese, and eat them in front of the television. The other three haven’t changed clothes and are still lounging around in pajamas, lace and silk robe. And while John can’t keep his eyes from wondering, it’s the company, the conversation and relaxation that amazes him the most.

As the afternoon progresses, they turn on some cooking show on Netflix, only half paying attention. Brian gets his guitar and perches on the armrest of the couch, strumming out soft melodies. Roger, who’s been exhausted after forcing himself to eat half a pizza, cuddles up in Freddie’s lap and is out cold after five minutes. 

The dark haired man’s smile is soft and gorgeous as he kisses his sleeping boyfriend’s forehead and slips the glasses of his nose. 

John needs to leave. He can’t let them lull him into this false sense of belonging, can’t be part of this domesticity anymore. They’re not his. Not like he wants them to be.

He excuses himself to go to the bathroom, does his business, splashes cold water in his face to man up, and goes to tell the others he’s leaving.

In the living room, things aren't like he left them. Roger’s now flat on the couch, snoozing, with Roadie sleeping on top of him. Next to him, Freddie’s straddling Brian, back to John. They’re kissing. Soft sounds escapes the two as hands run through hair, traces each others bodies. The guitar is nowhere to be seen.

John pauses, eyes darkening as he watches the lazy but heated make out session. How he wants to be a part of it. Of everything they have. He promises himself that next time. Next time he’ll do it. Have the foursome and remember every last second of it. Take whatever he can before he has to leave.

”Hi,” he says quietly to not wake the sleeping man. Brian and Freddie pause and turn to look at him, flushed and smiling. ”I’m heading home.”

The two protest in hushed voices, but John stands strong, and they soon give up and follow him to the door. They agree on meeting up again next week and then, then John inwardly decides, he’s really going to fuck them.

John is very close to forgetting his jacket and phone again, the very reason he came here in the first place. He guesses it’s not that surprising

You do lose your mind and do stupid things. When you’re in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Deaky 😢
> 
> Until next time lovelies <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening lovelies.
> 
> I come bearing the final chapter of this lil silly fic <3 
> 
> I have had such a blast with this, it has been very refreshing and fun to write. And your support, as usual, have been top-notch and lovely.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Something’s wrong. Something’s not adding up. John meets Brian, Freddie and Roger several times each week. And they still haven’t managed to have sex.

It just never works out. They meet up for date nights, both in and out, but as soon as things starts to get heated, as soon as John thinks that it’s finally time, something always come up. 

Headaches, Roadie, a sudden model gig, a call from a sick gran. It’s almost as if they don’t want to have sex with him anymore. Which is of course ridiculous, that’s the only thing they want John for. The foursome is the point of this whole thing.

But, no sex. John’s been kissed, small chaste things, and hugged and cuddled. The make out session between Freddie and Brian he saw that lazy saturday is the most action that has happened since all this started.

He tries. He’s suggestive and crude, he makes Brian, and sometimes Roger, blush. Freddie he hasn’t managed to fluster yet. He shows up at their door with a brand new Killer Queen vibrator in a wrapped box, tells them that it’s not on the market yet and that he’d love to see it in action.

They happily accept the toy, looking excited, but when John again hints that they should all try it out, together, they unfortunately can’t right now. Roger’s lower back is aching after a long week fixing cars, Freddie’s too sore since yesterday and Brian just goes red and sputters into his hands. John wants to scream.

Still, he’s never been so happy. He’s found three great friends, greater friends than what he’s had in… well possibly ever. They have so much fun together, they have actually meaningful conversations, they’re very supportive of each other. They make John feel good about himself. John’s debated if he should ask them to be just friends, because the thought of losing them after the possible, eventual foursome makes him want to jump from the window. But, it’s not that easy.

Because, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t be able to stand being their friend. It would break him. 

John’s in love. He loves Brian, loves Freddie, loves Roger. He wants to be with them all the time. He wants the dates, the innuendos, the cuddling. He wants the sex.

John’s stuck. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what the others want from him, why they keep him around.

Two days before one of Smiling Queen’s gigs, Brian calls him in a panic. Apparently their bassist, Tim, has quit the band from out of nowhere. The gig coming up is larger than what they’re used to and they really want to do it and they’re _desperate_. Could John possibly, maybe, want to fill in and play with them? They know it’s last minute and that they’ve never played together before, but would he be willing to at least try?

Of course, love-sick fool that he is, John says yes. After work, he goes home to grab his bass and then he takes the Metro to the address Brian gave him to their rented studio. 

He wonders what happened with Tim. The man had seemed like a nice and funny guy when John had met him, although shortly. But, John’s observant and it had been hard to not notice the odd tension surrounding the four band members. The way Tim had looked almost longingly at Roger, how he seemed reserved and almost chilly towards Freddie and how his and Brian’s smiles to each other didn’t really reach their eyes.

Something must have happened between the four of them, some time. Maybe he was an old foursome candidate, John thinks wryly.

Anyhow, John practices with Freddie, Brian and Roger and it goes great. Really great actually. He likes the songs they’re playing, Freddie’s singing is shockingly good, Brian is fluent, playful and brilliant with his guitar, Roger and John knits the rhythm section together so tightly it’s like they’ve been playing together since their cribs. John fits into the band like a glove. He fits perfectly.

And it hurts. Because he fits with these people in all ways possible and he just keeps getting more and more tangled up in their relationship. There’s no easy way out anymore. Whatever happens, it will break his heart.

They practice the next afternoon too, him and Roger arriving directly from work, sweaty and stressed. Late in the evening, they’re satisfied they won’t be able to do better and they all go home, dead tired.

The gig is in the middle of the day the day after and John jumps on the Metro in the morning to help set up everything and have a last play through before it’s showtime. It’s a beautiful, warm saturday and it almost feels like a waste to step into the cosy pub on one of the busier streets in London. 

Almost. As soon as he sees the other three he knows there’s nowhere he’d rather be than right here, right now, with them. Fuck. He’s so hopelessly in love.

They’re all gorgeous. Freddie has glittery eye shadow and an extravagant one piece, Brian’s hair is up again and he’s wearing frayed shorts and Roger is practically vibrating with energy, grin bright enough to stand in for the sun outside.

The preparations and last rehearsal generally goes smoothly and then suddenly, John’s standing on a stage, rocking away on his bass in front of a crowd, for the first time in years. It’s great fun, he has a great time. In some ways he’s never felt closer to the three boyfriends than now, playing as one of them.

Of course, the dream couldn’t be allowed to continue. Some time this beautiful haze, this fantasy, had to come to an end.

And that time was now.

\- - -

John is sitting at a high bar table with the rest of the boys, nursing a large pint of ale, bass case resting against the wall behind him. They’re all high on the gig, on the great reception of their audience and of each other’s company.

”... and then did you hear Deaky in that passage?! Where you got lost Bri? Like a fucking machine I’m telling you. It was crazy!” Roger practically shouts. He turns to John, grin so warm it feels like John’s been blessed. ”You’re crazy.” Roger says, softer, and nudges John’s side affectionately.

”I didn’t get lost…” Brian grumbles but he’s also smiling. ”But you did really save our asses John. I don’t know how we can ever thank you enough.”

Brian’s serious gratitude coupled with Freddie’s elated grin and Roger still nudging him, makes John crazy with want. Not like, just sexual want. _Everything_ want. He clears his throat before winking at them. ”I mean, they’re such lovely asses after all. I consider it my duty to save them.”

Roger roars with laughter and Brian snorts and shakes his head. But Freddie. Freddie smiles gently and puts his slender, bejewelled hand on John’s arm. ”You really are something dear.” He says, eyes searching and kind. ”And you’re a genius on that bass of yours. You fit into the group like you were made for u… to play with us.”

Freddie takes a deep breath and suddenly the tension’s running high. Roger and Brian are both watching them closely, looking both excited and nervous.

This is it, John thinks. He’s going to be invited to the foursome now. He can’t wait. And, he wants to wait forever. Doesn’t want this to ever end.

”We think,” Freddie starts, licking his lips. ”That you should start playing with us for real dear.”

John blinks.

”Only if you want to, of course.” Brian hurries to add.

But… 

John looks down into his ale, suddenly feeling heavy with hopelessness. No. It’s not ending. They won’t let it end. They want him to be their friend after all. They like him, want him to play with them. John has the opportunity to stay with these wonderful people, to continue like they have, hanging out, having fun, talking about everything. He has the opportunity to be their friend.

And never more than that.

His sight is foggy and it takes him a moment to realize that he’s crying. Horrified, quickly brushing the sleeve of his shirt over his eyes, he looks up and sees the others stare at him. 

”Darling…” Freddie begins but John’s already out of his chair, grabbing his bass.

”Sorry, ” he stammers, throwing his bass case over his shoulder. ”But I can’t do this anymore.”

Not waiting to see their reactions, he spins on his heel and hurries out into the afternoon sun. He runs along the street, expertly dodging the crowds of people, despite his blurry sight. He soon arrives at a small park and throws himself down on a bench, scaring a couple of pigeons into flight.

”Fuck,” he sobs. ”Fuck!” 

The other people in the park look at him like he’s an escaped mental patient but he doesn’t care. How could he have been so bloody stupid?

Why didn’t he just end this whole thing as soon as he developer real, actual feelings for Brian? Did he want to suffer? Was he such a failure of evolution that he’d knowingly put himself in this situation? In this trap closing in on him from every side? Yes. Yes, he guess he was.

And now he’d also fried all chances of being their friend. That was probably for the best though. Because that would have killed him. Not that his life looks especially bright now either, since he just lost the very thing he’d been living for, for the last couple of weeks.

He’s being over dramatic and ridiculous. He knows he is. He had a life before the tinder sirens from hell. He has a family, he has friends. He has a job he actually enjoys and a decent apartment. He’ll be fine. He’ll be just fine. He sighs, head in his hands. Yeah right. Maybe in about 10 years when he’s finally moved on from having his heart broken in three.

”Deaky!”

Oh god. He doesn’t dare to look up.

”John.” 

Brian’s soft voice. Someone sits down next to him. Careful fingers brushes his hair back and lifts his face.

Even if he doesn’t want to, he follows the gentle pull and looks up. Freddie stares back at him, bending at the waist to get close. His eyes are kind and comforting. John’s so tired of those gorgeous eyes. ”Where are you running off to darling?”

Roger peeks out from behind Freddie, looking worried. That means that it’s Brian next to him, Brian’s arm wrapping around his waist.

”Sorry,” John mutters again, breaking Freddie’s searching gaze. ”I fucked up.”

”You don’t _have_ to play with us Deaky,” Roger says, voice small, ”you could just have said so if you don’t want to.”

John snorts tiredly. ”It’s not about the bloody band.”

”Then what?” Freddie demands, fingers still on John’s face. ”What is it about?”

John shrugs. Sighs. He’s screwed regardless. Better if they get upset with him and leave him alone at this rate. ”I fell in love with you. All of you.”

There’s silence. He waits. Waits for them to scoff at him, to tell him to not be stupid. To walk away. Instead Brian hums and pulls John closer.

”Right… and that’s a problem how exactly?”

John’s heart skips a beat. Without meaning to, he looks up to meet Brian’s smiling face.

”Huh?”

Freddie looks like the cat that got the cream. ”It’s not a problem, it’s fucking marvellous dear. That means that we’re all on the same page!”

”I… I don’t understand?”

Roger chuckles, plops down next to John on the bench. ”We’re saying we love you too. Even if you’re a bit daft.”

John stares at him, then at Freddie, then at Brian. This has to be a joke.

”But… we haven’t slept together… you’ve only wanted to hang out, like friends!”

Brian looks confused. ”Like friends? We’ve been dating John.”

Roger grins. ”What kind of friends do you have? The kissing kind?”

”But we haven’t done more! No sex no nothing! No foursome! Wasn’t that what you wanted?”

Now they at least have the audacity to look a bit uncomfortable. It’s Freddie who answer him after some shared glances. ”Yes it was, in the beginning. That’s what we usually do, and it’s been working…”

”Kind of,” Brian mutters.

”Kind of working,” Freddie continues. ”But we all realized pretty soon that we wanted more than that with you.”

John still can’t believe what he’s hearing.

Brian sighs. ”We wanted to get to know you and for you to get to know us, before we went that far. Because…” he smiles carefully, ”I guess we were afraid that you’d get up and leave the second the sex was over. People get blinded you know. It’s happened in the past. They see Roger, or Freddie,”

”Or you!” Roger chimes in.

”...or me… and they want to get right to the physical part.”

Nodding slowly, more to do something with himself than to show his understanding, John looks up at Freddie again. ”So you want to have sex with me?”

”Darling I’ve been _aching_ to have sex with you, we all have. It’s Brian’s fault really, the delay, sweet old fashioned romantic that he is.”

Now John’s starting to feel annoyed together with the rest of the overwhelming feelings battling for dominance within him. ”So they were all lies? The excuses?”

”The oysters weren’t.” Roger winces, turning slightly green at the memory alone. ”But yeah the others were. Sorry,” he shrugs, not looking sorry at all, ”but we wanted you to want us for us, and not just for a jolly good time in bed.”

John grumbles, lips quirking up a bit when Roger and Brian nudge at him from both sides and Freddie grins down at him hopefully. “And we succeeded,” Freddie looks smug.

John laughs, giving up on trying to appear upset. “You did, you certainly did.” He takes a deep breath, looks at each of the three beautiful, lovely men surrounding him, smirks.

“So, tinder boy-fish group. Would you like to be my boyfriends? I mean, since we’ve apparently already been dating and all.”

Freddie grins wider, eyes sparkling. Roger laughs and nods. Brian leans in, kissing John’s temple. “We’d love to. If you’ll have us.”

“Well,” John shrugs, “I found one, and got two for free. I’d say that’s a bloody good deal.”

\- - -

That night, John is finally invited into the bedroom for the long awaited foursome. He goes confidently, a swagger to his step, because he knows it’s going to be the first of many. Also, Freddie’s offered to make him cheese on toast in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! John got his boys, in the end. I'm sure you're all shocked ;)
> 
> Going on a vacation now, so happy to get some time off work. Even if I love what I do, I've been quite exhausted lately. When I'm back I'll hopefully have the new part of Four men ready for you!
> 
> Take care beautiful people and enjoy what you can here in life <3


End file.
